This Just In…
“The White House will allow key presidential aide Karl Rove and former counsel Harriet Miers to be interviewed by committees probing the firings of U.S. attorneys, but they will not testify under oath, Rep. Chris Cannon says.” - CNN.com
Well I have some breaking news of my own — Yesterday, on the way home from my job as CEO of Amazon.com, I noticed a small spacecraft had crashed in a in field beside the road. I pulled my Aston Martin Vanquish over to investigate. As I crept toward the downed saucer I heard what sounded like a 747 landing on my eardrum. Suddenly a much larger ship appeared from nowhere and hovered above. I saw a light, felt a mild tingling sensation and suddenly I was in a room full of aliens that looked eerily like green manifestations of Ann Coulter, except without male genitalia. Two of these creatures led me to a room and began to interrogate me in their strange language of beeps and gurgles. Amazingly when I cried out I did so in their language and soon their indecipherable babbling became clear. They demanded I take them to the studios of Rush Limbaugh. Apparently Rush’s voice, overamplified by the deep pockets of right wing special interest groups, was being received loud and clear on their home planet. As it turns out the polarizing words of the bloviating Limbaugh had caused civil unrest and warfare in a society that had enjoyed a millennium of blissful peace. Although Rush more than deserved to be torn limb from limb by these very angry creatures I convinced them not to harm Mr. Limbaugh any more than the OxyContin already had. You see, because it takes quite a while for radio-waves to travel between earth and the alien’s home world, my new friends were still caught up in the Clinton impeachment proceedings. I calmly explained that Clinton got off (pun certainly intended), and while the Republicans stole two elections, they lost the 2006 election and were embroiled in weekly scandals that were sure to cripple their party for decades. After sparing Rush’s pitiful, pill-popping, Caribbean little boy fondling existence I was beamed back to my car and the alien craft disappeared as quickly as it had come. I sped off to my sixty million dollar estate to tell my supermodel wife what had happened. She just nodded and asked it I thought her new sunglasses made her look fat.
I hope you have enjoyed my story. It is entirely based in fact and reality — about as based in fact and reality as the load of happy-horseshit that will spew forth from the likes of Carl Rove and Harriet Miers if they are not forced to testify under oath. This is unaceptable and I hope the Democrats do everything in their power to make these assholes testify before God and country.
