From the bottom of my heart I would like to thank the New York Mets for completely and utterly collapsing. In two weeks time the Mets went from a 7 game lead in the National League East to a mad scramble by Met players to acquire tee times and playoff tickets at Yankee stadium. Never has a Met team shown so little heart or character. Never before have I wanted to pack up all my Mets shit and drop it in a Salvation Army box. But that would be useless - any self respecting homeless guy would rather freeze to death than be seen foraging for bottles in a Tom Glavine jersey. So back to my point - Thank you for being such a worthless bunch of overpaid little league washouts. I must admit I have a rather busy October lined up. What with midterms coming up at school, and business picking up at work I don’t really have any spare time to watch the team I have been following for twenty years try to win the world series. I don’t have the time to strut around campus in my Mets jersey sneering at jerk off Yankee and Red Sox fans. Nope - no time at all. Hell - my wife will be having our second child sometime in November - so I have lots of planning and preparing to do - Which reminds me - I have to stop by the mall and pick up a some Braves gear for the new arrival - lest he/she fall into the same trap I did and become a Met fan. Every generation wants the next generation to rise to higher aspirations - Right?

P.S. I would like to apologize to the Romanian for dragging him into the self-loathing haze that is being a mets fan. Maybe it’s not too late - go buy a Royals hat - those fuckers are usually out of the hunt around the second week of pre-season. No heartaches there.

The world’s Caucasian population has successfully bred itself disgusting. Really fucking disgusting. I mean downright appalling. Every time I leave the comforts of my room, I am exposed to thousands of people which I want to remain at least 5 feet from at all times. I mean, you never know if that shit is contagious, right? Anyways…how did this happen? Well, white people got comfortable. Allow me to elaborate.

In early times, all people regardless of race lived pretty much the same way…you used your muscles to do something. It was the Caucasians in Europe that developed technology the fastest, though. Goods like steel products and duck butter could be produced at a higher volume with less work. Suddenly, whites began thinking they were better, and started taking over other parts of the world, taking slaves, baking cake and eating it too…you all know basic history. What’s not in the books is the general movement towards repulsive, starting in the 1970’s.

The 1970’s brought computers into the mainstream, a management revolution took place, food was transformed, and the hippy movement consumed America. Intolerable things like untamed body hair and poor hygiene were viewed as okay. Hierarchical management policies allowed assholes who previously of little use to society to sit in cushy chairs and get fat telling people how to work (*ever seen a thin manager??). These people quickly went from the bottom of the social chain to the upper crust of society. Food additives and preservatives only worsened our already declining society’s health. Computers had the biggest impact; white people became pastier, people became more anti-social than before, and CRT monitor radiation made eyesight worse. Then, all these people began to interbreed, and our genes have been stained since.

The problem is now more real than ever. Corrective lenses allow people to watch people doing stupid shit outside on youtube instead of actually going outside themselves. Game consoles mimic real outdoor activities like the Wii sports collection. You think the Japanese play Wii? Fuck no. They go outside and play golf with all the money made from sales in the United States. Have you ever seen a fat person on MXC? Fuck no. The spinning rolly thing would knock their asses into that sewage water much faster if they weren’t in shape. Online forums and blogs provide a chance to become even more socially inept. The skinny kids lower their sperm count with gallons of Mountain Dew and the fat kids cook up enough frozen fried food to induce coronary failure in a horse, all while jerking off to anime after a successful raid for level 56 shoulder armor.

The solution?? We need more bullies and start sculpting people early in life. You know what effect getting a basketball crammed up your ass everyday in gym class prompts kids to do? They start lifting weights or running so they can run away or defend themselves. Getting picked for being overweight makes you think twice about eating that fourth hot pocket. Remember that kid with glasses that always got slammed in the face with a dodgeball? Yeah, he has perfect 20/20 vision now. If you smell like shit and you get a swirly from the 180 pound 5^th grader, chances are you are going to shower in an effort not to offend his olfactory receptors the next day. A bully is a social tool not unlike a police tazer. A tazer gets shit done. Bottom line.

The long term solution is quite simple; the people who take care of themselves end up mating, leaving the degenerates lonely and offspring free. Natural selection at its best. In the meantime, I’m gonna find me a nice asian girl.

Cheers.

DWI: “driving while intoxicated”

I experienced receiving a DWI first hand. I made the choice to get fucked up one night and made the 2 mile drive back to my house. Then as i decided to “peal out” in my Ford Escort Red Wagon, Deputy Droopalong decided to investigate. 6 months and $13k later I received a nice stamp on my record saying you fucked up.

Now my gripe isn’t with me fucking up, or with Deputy Droopalong (although some days i so wish i could drop kick him in the nuts), but with the “informative session” I had to take during the 6 months. it was not the 6 week class (which was really informative btw) but the 1 session where 4 speakers get up on stage and cried about there dead relatives.

Its terrible they lost someone, but each speaker decided to take a spin on there talk. They blamed everyone in the room for being the direct result for there deaths. Are you kidding me?? Ever hear of natural selection, or maybe when your fucking time comes its time to go?? Don’t sit there blaming me for your husbands horrible death. I was lucky i didn’t kill anyone, but if i died, or i killed someone. That’s fucking LIFE. All of you politically correct fucks who do not want to offend anyone are infecting the daily life of everyone else by blaming everyone else but the person who just so happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Don’t get me wrong, a person whose drunk driving should do jail time. You do something wrong, you should get punished. But life sucks, deal with it and dont blame the rest of us for your misfortune.

It has come to my attention that there is a certain local radio host that has a special condition. We here at AR feel so bad for “it” that we are having a fund raiser, so that “it” may get surgery, so please if you would like to donate to this cause please email us at:

fuckthatfaggot [at] angryromanian [dot] com

Also we are having a vote to decide whether “it” should be male or female:
UPDATE: The votes are in Robbie love should be female.