From the bottom of my heart I would like to thank the New York Mets for completely and utterly collapsing. In two weeks time the Mets went from a 7 game lead in the National League East to a mad scramble by Met players to acquire tee times and playoff tickets at Yankee stadium. Never has a Met team shown so little heart or character. Never before have I wanted to pack up all my Mets shit and drop it in a Salvation Army box. But that would be useless - any self respecting homeless guy would rather freeze to death than be seen foraging for bottles in a Tom Glavine jersey. So back to my point - Thank you for being such a worthless bunch of overpaid little league washouts. I must admit I have a rather busy October lined up. What with midterms coming up at school, and business picking up at work I don’t really have any spare time to watch the team I have been following for twenty years try to win the world series. I don’t have the time to strut around campus in my Mets jersey sneering at jerk off Yankee and Red Sox fans. Nope - no time at all. Hell - my wife will be having our second child sometime in November - so I have lots of planning and preparing to do - Which reminds me - I have to stop by the mall and pick up a some Braves gear for the new arrival - lest he/she fall into the same trap I did and become a Met fan. Every generation wants the next generation to rise to higher aspirations - Right?

P.S. I would like to apologize to the Romanian for dragging him into the self-loathing haze that is being a mets fan. Maybe it’s not too late - go buy a Royals hat - those fuckers are usually out of the hunt around the second week of pre-season. No heartaches there.