I have gone my entire life without allergies. Now that I’m in my mid twenties, nature deemed it fit to bless me with allergies. I enjoyed three weeks of hell during late August, which left me almost for dead, it was so bad. Now that it’s early November some other pollen from hell is tearing me a new asshole to try to breath through, but oh no it clogs that hole up too with phlegm and shit! As I sit here writing this I am sneezing so much my keyboard is sticky…well not all that is from sneezing…

Now my point is the pharmaceutical industry. I managed to try every kind of over the counter allergy medication at least once. Now not one, I repeat NOT ONE has worked at all. Not even to stop a runny nose for 20 minutes. These money grubbing mother fuckers charge me $12.99 for a placebo that doesn’t even trick my body into thinking it works. You’d think that in a multi-billion dollar industry, at least someone would come up with something to kick this piece of shit “sickness” in the sack. But oh wait, I think I just answered my question. It’s a “multi-billion dollar industry”…why make a cure and end the cash cow that fills the pockets of thousands of millionaires around the globe.

So thank you, thank you for sticking a rod up each and every consumer’s ass and prancing us around like dolls as you take what you want from our pockets. But we all know Hell has a spot picked out just for you, a nice big chair with the real people from Hostel ready to have some fun with your soul for eternity. So keep up the good work, and ENJOY!