The CDC announced today that STDs among Americans are increasing at alarming rates, led by chlamydia. Nearly 1,031,000 cases of the clap were reported last year, up from 976,000 the year before. This number eclipsed the 1,013,436 cases reported in 1978. 19 - fucking - 78. The late 70’s were a church ladies nightmare!!! HIV hadn’t reared it’s ugly head yet and fashion was so god-awful repulsive that people couldn’t wait to get out of their hip-huggers and liesure suits to fuck.

Gonorrhea and syphilis rates have also risen significantly. Health officials are baffled by the sudden rise and offer no concrete solution to combat this precarious rise in STDs. But we here at Angryromanian World Headquarters have a sure “shot” solution. Lets start an ad campaign promoting porn style sexual encounters. We’ll call the campaign “Give her the money shot tonight, and avoid the penicillin shot tomorrow” or, “One in the eye means she’s safe for the next guy!”. If you have any other slogan suggestions please pass them along.

Peace(sucks)

D.N.