I would classify myself as an average gamer. I look forward to good games that will entertain me for a while, and of course the games that blind sided us and turns the tides of the gaming world. Kane & Lynch: Dead Men was not one of them. I for one was actually looking forward to this game, its concept and realism sparked my interest. I mean christ you get to shoot cops, why the hell not. Upon purchasing this game I was deeply saddened by its very thin plot line and lacking graphics. I actually found myself going back to Worms half-way through the game before beating it.

The title comes from the two main characters. You, Kane, are set away to be grilled on the electric chair for your crimes of death and destruction. On your way Lynch and a bunch of other masked tools stage this big  break out. Thus starting endless repeat Duck Hunt scenarios, in the third person. An addition to the repeat scenarios is the squad based game play. You can control lynch and 4 other jamokes. Great concept at first but is not its saving grace. Although they don’t die easily, they are about as useful as an asshole on your elbow.

As for the enemy AI, at first its nice to see an enemy get behind cover and blind fire his weapon to try to save his own ass. But its when there is no cover…and the AI still finds a blade of grass to duck behind and blind fire from is where many of us are left looking like a deer in headlights. At times there bullets can even find there way through your concrete cover to drop you like a stone. Which makes certain scene incredibly frustrating…hence my hiatus. The graphics tie into this. Was I playing on an original Xbox? Its 2007 people, take an extra month, or fire the guy who slept through design class and come out with a game that looks real enough to trick a 2 year old. Bad clipping at times and bad texture issues throughout the game does not help its case.

A positive to the game is its sound effects. Lynch drops the “F” bomb +/- 4,781 times. You use the squad command to move and he tells you to go fuck yourself. Its mildly entertaining at times. The gun sounds make a shoot out worth while. Fighting your way through dumb AI cops sucks, but if your gun sounds and looks real…fuck it, its entertaining. The online mode is also pretty fun. “Fragile Alliance”, you and 4 other players perform heist. Go in, gun a blazing, steal shit and get out to share the loot or shoot your fellow players to steal there shit. But if you turn on them you are flagged by the other players and it can be a ring around the rosy with a traitor. Plus if you die you spawn as a cop. So  you can get revenge on the assfuck who killed you.

My overall impression of the game is that if it was a movie and spent a little more time on the plot line it would have been ok. But it wasn’t and they didn’t, so its another run of the mill video game. Give it a try if you find yourself one day at the $4.99 bin and its in there (which it will one day trust me) and you want a shooter where the fight scenes never end.

I give it a:

6 out of 10