I have a great deal of respect for female porn stars. It’s not everyday you find somebody willing to do absolutely disgusting and humbling sexual acts for a grand or two. But why do I like them? It’s not for their silicone enhanced breasts or acting abilities. The answer is simply that they have a fucking awful, degrading job, and they like it. That makes them a better person than myself, because I have a fucking awful job, and I go home and cry myself to sleep every night.

Comparatively, female porn stars have less of a conscience than assassins. It’s true. Female pornstars are well aware that people are viewing their work for one reason, and one reason alone, and they are oddly okay with that. The average hitman leaves the industry after 8 years due to moral issues with the job. Not female porn stars though…they get forced out after approximately 12 years when they start to look old and are no longer marketable. Assassins’ will usually exercise a “no women, no children rule”. Female pornstars aren’t nearly as selective. Men, women, animals, household items…you name it, and there is probably a website full of women fucking it. If you don’t believe me, please reference the PG-13 rated website about two girls and a cup. And that is definitely not the worst. Trust me. I’m a connoisseur. I know.

I mean, paying a hitman in Brooklyn 1000 bucks to pull a trigger and paying a woman 1000 dollars to take a shot of cum from 3 guys in EVERY mucus membrane while being filmed are two very different things. Assassins know that if they are whacking somebody, the target individual must have pissed of somebody bad enough to justify the bill. They sleep well at night knowing that the people they have killed were most likely flaming assholes. I am surprised that a female pornstar can sleep at all. Besides lacking even a shred of dignity, realizing that thousands of lonely men will be jerking off to your exploitation on screen would really bother me…and that’s saying a lot, because I’d kill your grandmother for a large pizza.

It’s important to note here that I am not really a fan of male pornstars, mostly because it’s not a bad job. Besides the danger of crossing swords, male porn stars have it pretty good. Most of the females in porn are pretty hot. Not the guys though. To put it bluntly, some of the male porn stars in the biz are absolutely fucking appalling. Ron Jeremy? That guy gives Ugly nightmares. And he isn’t the worst looking of all of them. Trust me. I’m a connoisseur. I know.

The worst part of a female pornstar’s job however, is the stigma that follows the job. They will never again be respected by family members, they will have a difficult time finding a non-pornographic job (many businesses include a clause that prohibits any relationship with the pornography industry in any way as a PR thing), and have an exceptionally difficult time finding a relationship outside of work (unless you guys are into other men/women/whatever fucking your girlfriend).

So…regardless of whether you work in a assembly line at a factory or mop up cum from a XXX theatre floor, realize that regardless of how bad your day is you won’t have your head crammed into a toilet while your ass is violently pounded.

~ruko