This is just a strait up angry rant. There is nothing funny about it. If you aren’t interested in reading my complaints, go and fuck yourself and come back tomorrow when I am not so heated.

During my early to mid teens, rap and hip hop music became somewhat of a phenomenon. This genre was not entirely new; its roots could be traced back to the 1970’s and arguably before that. None the less, it was good.

I’m not playing that “when I was your age…” card. I never had to walk 50 miles in waist high snow, uphill both ways anywhere. I had a tape deck when I was a kid, and we all swapped bootlegged copies of NWA, Digital Underground, Ice T, and of course, the ever popular Run DMC. We liked the music, but had to keep the audible levels down so our parents wouldn’t hear the occasional talk of “hoes” and “niggas”. I got my first CD player shortly after I lost my virginity to my best friend’s mom (I was about 13 at the time). On the way out the door, I made sure to steal it and then threatened “statutory rape!” if she called the cops. Compact Discs really opened up a whole new world to me.

Tapes were out, and the new music was on CDs. The hip hop/rap of the time consisted of groups like Biggie, Tupac, Warren, Snoop, Dre, Method and the Wu-tang, Mobb Deep, Bone Thugs, and all that other classic shit of the early to mid 1990’s. It was fucking solid music and is often still played on radio and found on movie soundtracks. These guys were angry motherfuckers for sure. They smoked weed, fucked with hoes and tricks, and 187’d the fucking pigs down in Compton, ATL, and NYC. It’s no wonder half of them are now dead.

I realized that I was old when I no longer liked the new hip hop released by modern artists. The younger kids I work with love this new shit, and I definitely do not fucking understand. Every time I hear Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girl”, I am tempted to buy airfare to his home and give him a hand with the suicidal problem he seems to have. Soulja Boy? He needs to take a superman flying leap off of a very tall building. I am praying for the demise of Kanye West. I am so sure of his impending dirt nap that I have added him to my list of 12 celebrities most likely to die this year. The only thing more puzzling than the #1 Billboard hit “Low” are the 100’s of youtube videos of pasty as fuck, wanna be ghetto kids shaking their asses (off beat as fuck I may add) to this song. More disturbing is the fact that the lyrics “apple bottom jeans, boots with the furr, tha whole club was lookin at hurr” has spawned an entire fashion statement. I have seen asses in Apple Bottom Jeans with furry boots that should never be viewed by a man. I lost my ability to maintain an erection for about 24 hours afterwards, but it’s okay because T-Pain said so.

Bah. Whats the point. It makes very little sense to me, just like the reason why my urine was neon green and smelled like Oreo cookies this morning. I’ve tossed out my love for the Hip Hop, and now focus on Metal and angry music of Europe.