We, the editors of Angry Romanian, are horrified by the actions of our former friend at Angry Chinese Driver. Recently that twisted asshole found it necessary to release the personal information of a woman who was involved in an automobile accident with his mother. He irresponsibly posted this poor woman’s sensitive information on his website. How dare he subject Ms. Jing Ye, who lives at 174 Stave Cres., Richmond Hill, Ontario, L4C 0S8, phone number (905)237-4888, driver’s license number Y2001 40207 45729, who drives a 2002 beige Honda Civic LX 4-door, license plate ANSP 868, insured by Unifund Assurance Johnson Inc. under policy number A087AB0428 to such indignities.

Please join us in boycotting Angry Chinese Driver for abusing Ms. Jing Ye who lives at 174 Stave Cres., Richmond Hill, Ontario, L4C 0S8, phone number (905)237-4888, driver’s license number Y2001 40207 45729, who drives a 2002 beige Honda Civic LX 4-door, license plate ANSP 868, insured by Unifund Assurance Johnson Inc. under policy number A087AB0428.

Damn you Angry Chinese Driver. Damn you.

Anyone who would like to send words of support to Ms. Jing Ye are encouraged to phone (905)237-4888, or if you’d like to send a sympathy card please forward it to 174 Stave Cres., Richmond Hill, Ontario, L4C 0S8.

If you are still in doubt as to how truly disgusting the article by Angry Chinese Driver is, hold your nose and click here.

Additionally, I hereby deem it acceptable to add Angry Chinese Driver to your Celebrity Death Pool lists. Karma is a bitch my Canadian friend.

I drive a 1993 Civic Hatchback. It wasn’t my first choice; I needed a car and this was available. My previous truck violated nearly all of the DOT rules and tended to really piss off the local law enforcement. I like to stay out of the eyes of law enforcement…the Meth lab in my basement is now netting me a hefty profit and I don’t need any ociffers fucking that up.

When I purchased the car, the motor and transmission were blown, there were some serious electrical issues, and some other parts of the car were missing completely. For a price of $500 with a new motor, it was right in my price range. I was a full time student finishing my BS degree with no help from mommy and daddy. My job paid for my coke and prostitute addiction, leaving little money for other things. As the saying goes, desperate times call for cheap car purchases. I was sick of walking to work and school, and trading blowjobs for a ride really wasn’t my cup of tea.

I embarked on a mystical journey with this car, pulling the old motor, building and dropping in the new motor, performing an automatic to manual transmission conversion, and fixing the various problems with the car, only after I had attended classes and work each day. Having only some self taught mechanical experience, putting this thing back together was what some might call “a learning experience”. I call working in a poorly lit unheated garage in the middle of winter with little car knowledge “a fucking nightmare”. Either way, I finished the car after several weeks, a little bit at a time.

The car is not ricey. No 17″ chrome rims…just the stock 14″ steelies. I don’t have a vomit inducing body kit or flashy paint job. No annoying wings, no loud fart can, no performance stickers, no neon lights. The car is quick…if you consider a flat 15 in the quarter quick. It’s a Civic, not a performance vehicle. Next to a 4G63, or a SR20DE, or a 3SGTE, ANY inline Honda motor (with maybe the exception of a Type-R B series) is a far cry from a performance motor. But, like the saying goes, “when in Rome, you can lead a horse to water”.

Driving a Civic automatically makes people around you assholes. It’s true. Seeing a Civic on the road triggers a release of pheromones in the brain of males between the ages of 16 and 34. This pheromone makes us do stupid shit like street racing, fighting with other males, or going home from the bar with ugly/fat/ugly & fat women. These pheromones travel at light speed through glass and metal, and can subsequently trigger the same effect in surrounding males in other cars. I hate asshole drivers. Now that I drive a Civic, they come in droves, waiting for their chance to line up at a red light.

I’m sick of racing on the street. I know my car isn’t fast. I like the 36 mpg I get, but I have no disillusions about what my car is capable of. Instead of street racing, I’ve begun to play a new game. When a challenge has been initiated at a stop light, I bug my eyes out really crazy like, and then back up so the rear license plate is in view. On a pad of paper I write the plate number in big letters, then pull back up next to the adjacent car.

The next step is to display the plate number against the driver window so it is in view of the neighboring car. Just to top things off, I also like to lick the glass a bit.

It’s a bit unsettling, as is evident by the look on the faces. My only hope is that said driver worries that I will get his personal information using his plate. I am an ugly bastard, and I sure as shit wouldn’t want to see me on my doorstep.

I ride with my window down year round so I can give the finger to a fellow motorist if I deem necessary. In NY, I deem this necessary about every 10 minutes if I am in my car. The reasons? Mostly, they are turn signal related. Aside from motorists being guilty of general douchebaggery while behind the wheel, people in NY don’t use turn signals correctly, and it really fucking pisses me off.

A turning signal is a common courtesy to both drivers and pedestrians. It says “Hey guy! I’m making a turn in the direction of my signal, so please take caution good sir!” Misusing the turn signal is on the same level of disrespect as pissing on the grave of your entire dead family. It is in effect saying “I don’t give a shit about anyone else on the road”, and most cops in the United States won’t be bothered to issue a ticket for a directional infraction. In Japan, directional infraction carries the same punishment as public urination, and updated signaling laws have reduced overall accidents by 87% (according to US DOT. it’s on their website). When Asian drivers get in less accidents than we do, we have a big fucking problem.

Several years ago I developed a mental list of things that would designate whether a motorist was an asshole or not. Points were added to a driver’s tally for doing things such as sleeping at a stop light, speed infractions, bright headlights, unnecessary passing, etc. Once the motorist reached 10 points, I would go out of my way to ensure that said driver knew I was pissed off, honoring him/her with my clenched fist, middle finger pointing to the heavens. Below are listed the turning signal asshole designators and the asshole points award for each.

Not Using a Turn Signal – This is the blanket category for the lack of turning signal usage. Most of these people are completely aware that they are not using a turn signal and don’t give a shit that you are waiting for them to pass at the intersection they are turning into. This instantly warrants a mighty “fuck you”, so be sure to award these pricks with a honk and a bird.

Asshole Points Awarded: 14 out of 10

Turn Signal Too Late – These motherfuckers put their turn signal on as they are already turning or after they have completed the turn, thus negating the purpose of the signal all together.

Asshole Points Awarded: 8 out of 10

The Lane Change Game – This occurs when 2 traffic lanes are involved. You put a turn signal on to turn into the other lane and the vehicle in front just kind of merges into it without signaling, cutting you off. This is usually played by “Fuckface in giant SUV” or “Businessman on cell phone in exceedingly expensive sports car”.

Asshole Points Awarded: 8 out of 10

Turn Signal on for 6 Miles – Little explanation needed here…the driver of the vehicle in front of you is completely oblivious to the fact that his/her turn signal has been on for the better part of an hour. A favorite with 80 + year old drivers.

Asshole Points Awarded: 7 out of 10

Turn Signal at Every Road – One of my personal favorites; these people are obviously lost and use their directional at every intersection, street, and driveway without actually making a turn at all. A bonus is that they are usually driving 20 mph under the speed limit.

Asshole Points Awarded: 11 out of 10

Turn Signal in Opposite Direction – The lowest of life forms on this Earth, these shitheads put on a turn signal and then turn the opposite way. Anybody that doesn’t know the difference between right and left should be executed Stalin style. “We need to take your picture against this wall, so please just stand there for a sec. thx!”

Asshole Points Awarded: 2^45 out of 10

Make sure to study these carefully, and boldly display that middle finger when needed. Until legislation allows us to remove vehicles from the road with an RPG, the finger will have to do.

XOXOXOXO-