Happy New Year and all that shit. I’ll be brief today, since I’m not a big fan of typing when my head is pounding, there is vomit running down my stairs, my car is in my neighbors back yard, some chick with hairy armpits is curled into the fetal position in the closet, and my camcorder is still running. But I will say you all can expect big things from Angry Romanian this year. Look for contests, chances to get free swag, original videos, and, of course, the rants, raves, and musings of the pricks that write for this page. So once again, best wishes in the New Year. I’ve got to go now and make sure the girl in the closet is alive, right after I check out what’s on the tape from last night.

Fear not fair weather friends, Angry Romanian has not forgotten you, our loyal reader, or your over zealous desire for daily high quality content. However, if we plan on remaining in our parents’ will we still have to spend time with our families over the Christmas holiday. And so we look forward to serving your needs in the new year and want to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and of course to Bieltan:

Make sure you shatter the dreams of children and pass on the word.

The following is a tutorial on the official Circuit City procedure for removing stuck Blu-ray disks from a PS3. Pay attention. You will be tested on this later.

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Tools you’ll need:

(1) Over sized flat head screw driver

(1) Phillips head screw driver (for those pesky small screws)

(1) Hammer

(1) Large pair of pliers

First step: Removing the Cover

Remove any pads covering screws and torque screws. Now remove all screws. You have to get all those little sucker out, so press hard. This will almost undoubtedly strip the torque screws, but don’t give up, you’ll get them eventually. If all else fails, break the plastic. Once you remove the cover it should look like this:

Step 2: Removing Blu-Ray Drive from PS3

Anything that is bolted/screwed/latched requires the combination of the flat head screwdriver and hammer. Chisel away until these mild annoyances are solved. Feel free to strike the screwdriver as hard as is needed to break off those stubborn little clips and screws. Once you have successfully removed the Blu-ray drive, rejoice, you are only moments away from achieving your goal.

3: Removing Blu-Ray disc

By now your Blu-Ray drive is in your hand. Feel the power of having a $1000 unit at your mercy. Bask in your superior technical prowess for a moment….

(you should be basking)

Now take pliers out and remove metal enclosure. Make sure you bend the metal back and forth to achieve maximum damage to the enclosure, this allows you to eventually remove the Blu-Ray disc later on. Take notice of the careful bending of the metal below:

Once the metal is neatly bent back, grab the flat head screw driver again and begin breaking more plastic. Don’t worry you can put it all back together afterwards.

Once you have broken enough plastic and electronic parts, the Blu-ray disk should reveal itself . Keep digging and breaking until you get can get a firm grasp of it. Once the disk is in your hand, hold it up high, You have now successfully rescued an overpriced disk from an overpriced console. Now for the final step, use the hammer and a bit of glue to put that pile of shit back together. Great Job!!

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We hope this tutorial has served as a successful tool in making an already damaged system “better”. So, follow each step carefully and your glorified neogeo will be right as rain.

Angry Romanian is not responsible for any damaged goods. This tutorial is a guide and to be used at your own dumbass risk.

Enjoy your turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and squash and cranberry sauce and three bean salad and rolls with butter and apple pie and…

These are some things we found that fell off the back of a truck (right…):

UPDATE: This just in… the back of my car, would you like a slurpee